Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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