Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I AM VODKA MAN
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
