Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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