strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
