so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
