3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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