it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
