that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
