I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
