Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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