i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
