Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
