And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
