ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
