we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
