Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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