Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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