omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
