So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
