Please, let me fuck your mom
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
