Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
