When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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