apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
