And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
