I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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