this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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