marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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