"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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