You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
