She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize