I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
