and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
