need another drink. this is the easiest way
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
