Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
