Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
