I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
