I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
