I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
