Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
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You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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