it was like having sex with a tree stump
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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