your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
