He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
