i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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