Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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