Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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