come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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