I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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