What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just threw up on my dentist
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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