you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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