so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
