Just mADE A PArabola og urine
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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