at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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