I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
