Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
there was a trapeze. enough said
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
