I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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