Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
