Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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