The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
the raccoons are back...
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