That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
