Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
