She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I enjoy the company of your penis
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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