When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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