Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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