She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
