Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
