his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
