Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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